Nikapotamus Rex

As a kid, my biggest fear was dogs. And fear as in all-out kicking, screaming, crying, running, etc. I've later learned that it came about from a fear of motion (roller coasters, anyone?) and later became a fear of dogs. It's no exaggeration to say that when I'd hear a dog barking off in the distance, my eyes would go wide and I'd climb up the closest thing to me, whether that be tree, car or human.

When I got older, I was able to tolerate certain dogs, namely the quiet ones that stayed still. The hyper ones still terrified me.

In college, there was a pet store next to one of our favorite college eateries. We'd go in to pet the puppies, with no intention of buying (they were all super-expensive).

However, on one fateful day, I was introduced to the most precious Pomeranian puppy. He fit right in the palm of my hand and curled right up against my stomach to sleep. How on Earth could such a precious little guy be scary?? I fell in love right then and there and called him "Gizmo". He looked like a little bear. It was even cute when he sneezed on me. I needed this little guy in my life.

Unfortunately, he was $600 - something I could not afford. My boyfriend at the time said he wanted him too and we'd try to save up (wishful thinking for a college student). So we went to the local pound to see if anyone had dropped off a Pomeranian.

A Pom we did not find, however, he became smitten with a Spitz mix named Makita. She was beautiful, standing up on her hind legs, leaning on the enclosure to greet everyone. I wasn't convinced. She was bouncy and considerably bigger than a Pomeranian.  The owners of the pet rescue shelter said we could walk her around to get to know her a little. They said they called her "Mickey" or "Nikki" for short.

So off on our walk we went. She was easy to control and was overly curious - wanting to sniff everything and greet everyone, although she didn't answer to "Makita". She seemed to prefer "Nikki". After that, we had an interview, papers were signed and she was ours.

I had to go to work afterwards, so I didn't get to spend much time with her. She liked to chase cats and could even "point" at them. The next day, however, was our first day together. I remember distinctly sitting on the opposite side of the couch from her as we both stared at one another, with a "now what?" look on both of our faces. I know I was thinking it at least...

She was very, very bouncy and loved to play - being only about a year and a half old. I'd take her on walks and she'd run around me to tie me up with the leash. She loved to lick so much that I called her "Lickey Nikki". I hated it... and she knew it, which made her do it all the more. When I sat on the floor in front of the couch, she'd hop up on it, sit behind me and lick the back of my neck. Even to this day, she likes to surprise me by licking my nose when I'm not expecting it.

We began to get closer when I took her to puppy training classes. Even the teacher said we had quite an amazing bond after the class was over.

I even remember the very moment when I knew that my love for her was different than any love I've ever experienced before -  She was staying at my then boyfriend's parents house and somehow got hurt. I wasn't there at the time, but either she tried to escape under the chain link fence or got attacked, but she was covered in gashes. I got the frantic phone call from the Emergency vet that she was in trouble. I zeroed in on her as I entered the Emergency vet's doors and sat on the floor next to her. She was dripping blood everywhere, looking quite morose. I firmly asked the nurses to help her to stop bleeding as we waited, but knew not to yell as to not upset Nikki. Then, me - the girl who was afraid of blood and fainted at the sight of it - scooted closer to Nikki, took her in my arms gently and never broke her gaze. I knew I couldn't freak out because it would freak her out. I stopped thinking about myself and only thought about her. I didn't faint that day.

My Nikki is also plagued with seizures. The vet says they aren't bad and they only happen once in a blue moon. She's only lost consciousness once - during one of the first ones she ever had. I wasn't sure what to do at first and tried to make her lie down. She went out and her legs started to shake. Now I just keep her where she is and just sing to her. Somehow that snaps her out of it. One of her favorite songs is "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas". I started singing it in the car (as it's one of my favorite songs too) on our way to the puppy classes. She loved it when I inserted her name into random songs, so before long, it became "I Want a Nikipotamus for Christmas", hence her nickname. When seizures hit, I also know not to freak out because it will freak her out, although those are the times when I'm reminded the most that she won't always be with me.

I think we've grown the closest after I tossed my ex out. She keeps me safe and I keep her safe from Thunderstorms. People steer clear of me because they are afraid of her and she's a great judge of character. Anyone she doesn't like, I steer clear of - PERIOD. Likewise, anyone that doesn't like her, I also steer clear of.

I may complain about it, but it's kind of nice to wake up in the mornings to see her furry head on the pillow across from me. Even more perfect when she licks my nose. She wakes up every morning with enthusiasm. We can all learn a lesson from that, I think.

We love to play 20 questions. She loves it when I talk to her, so I'll ask her yes/no questions. "Yes" is a wag of the tail (and there's different levels of "yes" - little wag = maybe to full on tail wag - "YESSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!")

Anytime I'm not feeling well, she's at my side. She thinks petting her and sitting on top of me will cure any ailment I may have and if it somehow doesn't, then there's no hope for me.

If I'm sad, she's there too. Nothing gets her to come running quicker than when I start to cry (well... maybe food. She's very food-driven). One time I was in a baaaaaaaaad, bad mood - all curled up in a chair and pouting. She came over and sat on me. Grumpy old me tried to push her off and I was annoyed, but she wasn't having it. She pinned me down and licked my face until I couldn't stop laughing. Then she made me take her on a walk, and an extra long walk at that, too. I thanked her for trying to get me out of my mood, but I really think she figured she wouldn't get fed unless she got my grumpy butt out of the chair. ;)

Sometimes, I'll just sit and pet her, telling her how thankful I am to have her in my life and how I think often about how my once -greatest fear is now my greatest love - her!! :)

The other night, I was faced with my now-greatest fear (yep - Fear Conqueresses still have them, believe it or not). I was crying and on the verge of having a panic attack. She came over to me, sat in front of me and looked directly into my eyes.

"What am I going to do, Nikki? I'm so scared", I sobbed uncontrollably.

Her gaze never broke mine and she placed a paw on my arm. Call me crazy, but in an instant, I knew what she was trying to tell me - she (or animals like her) were once my greatest fear until I took a chance and now look what happened - I couldn't imagine my life without her. I smiled and hugged her. It was just the advice I needed to hear at that moment. I stood up, petted her on the head, wiped my eyes and walked out the door with my head held high to face my fear.

In February, Nikki and I will celebrate 10 years together. Her 11th birthday is in August - she's just as bouncy and hyper as the day I met her.