'To strive, to think, to find and not to yield.'
"I've been thinking about that poem a lot lately. And I think what it says is that while it's tempting to play it safe, the more we are willing to risk the more alive we are. In the end what we regret more are the chances we never took."
The first line is from a poem by Alfred Lord Tennyson. The paragraph referring to it was a quote I heard on the final episode of Frasier. To me, I think the Tennyson quote sums up the meaning of life quite nicely, although Frasier's quote also articulates my adventures yesterday quite nicely.
My friend Jen and I "ran" the Zombie 5k yesterday. I say "ran" because the whole course was full of mud, so not much running was had. It was also full of zombies and obstacles. The race was easily comparable to the marathon I ran 11 years ago: tough as nails, designed to mess with your head and brings you to the point of utter exhaustion, so much so that you don't have enough energy to have a sense of accomplishment. We had the worst time in the history of 5k's and never really want to see mud ever again, but we had fun.
This falls into the realm of 'fear conquering' because I was quite nervous before the race. I had thought one of the obstacles would have been:
And although that wasn't apart of this particular course, this was:
Although, I remember it being MUCH taller than the one pictured. Could be because I ran without my glasses. Could be because I'm afraid of heights. Either way, I made it over and am the most proud of making it over something like this. I climbed up okay and then sat on the top, not wanting to leave. It took my friend and some strangers telling me where to put my feet in order for me to come back down. I had to lay down on the bar on the top, muckle (spell check tells me this isn't a word. It means "to hold onto for dear life") onto it like it was a stuffed animal and swing my legs over. The point is that I made it over; fear be damned.
The quote I posted in the beginning of this entry struck a chord with me because as much as I was miserable yesterday, as much as I hurt today, as much as I never want to have that experience ever again, life is about taking chances and trying new things. It was highly uncomfortable and tested my determination to the limits... and beyond, yet I finished anyway. I can say that I feel very alive today and as I think back about all of the amazing experiences I've had lately, I think about just how amazing life is. It's about trying new things and stepping out of your comfort zone. Now you don't have to run around in the mud in order to step out of your comfort zone. That, I think, takes a little bit of insanity as well! (joking...mostly). But if I hadn't stepped out of my comfort zone, I wouldn't have gotten to know myself, I wouldn't have felt like I got to experience life to fullest, and I wouldn't have found some things that I really love.
Now I can say I don't love (or even remotely like) mud races and I will probably never do one again. That's okay! You don't have to love every new thing you do - just as long as you took the initiative to try it. But you will never know until you try. (That last line courtesy of my Dad, who used to tell me that all the time growing up. Thanks Dad!)
I never thought I'd like hockey until I went to a game. I thought I hated roller coasters until I rode them. I never thought I could fly a plane until I did it. I never thought I could be co-ordinated enough to do ballet and would fall over if I ever tried. A year later of ballet lessons, and I haven't fallen once. These four things I not only found out I liked, but I love them and they are apart of me I never knew was there.
And I never would have known just what was missing from my life unless I had tried first. Sometimes in life, you serendipitously fall ass-backwards into things. Sometimes things just fall into your lap. But the best things - I am learning now - are the things that you took the initiative and courage to chase after and follow, just to see how far down the rabbit hole goes.
